Being rejected romantically or facing a painful break up again? You may face the pain of your life and belief you lost the love of your life, but listening to your love for life will make you move on. But here you will find out why should give up, to find what you are looking for. Sounds complicated? Read on and find out.
It is always painful to find out that the one you love most turns out not to be your true love. There are number of articles out there that will help you cope with the pain of a break up. There are only few that will even mention the pain of being rejected. Heartaches will strike you more than once in a common human life and it might make you reconsider if true love exists. I once lost faith too, but came to a simple 5 step conclusion that made me realize that true love should be found within, before it might bloom outside.
Step 1: Be your own true love
Sounds hard for many grown up with the idea that you should be humble and serve others. Give up the good girl or boy idea. There is no need to become a heartless narcissist, but when you get rejected, dumped or romantically abused time after time, it might be time to face your self esteem.
We all need love, but it is hard to love somebody that does not life him- or herself. As long as you keep believing true love is a fairt tale, if will remain this for you.
Life on Earth in not unconditional. Love might be, but you might have to give love in order to receive, since our universe is one of taking and giving. If you cannot care about yourself, others will find it hard to care about you as well.
You are the only one that can make your pain stop. You are the one that should believe you are worth loving. If not, you will only become the annoying drag everybody runs from. So why are all the other more successful in being loved? Yes, because they believe they are worthy of it and are receptive to it.
Step 2: Be honest with yourself
Stop blaming yourself for the fact that you are being rejected, abused, dumped and so on. Most people are just so looking for a relationship, that they even stop thinking about happiness.
Do you want to have a partner more than you like to be happy? In that case, you will remain chasing ghosts and true love might not be for you yet.
Do you really want your partner to be the one that makes you happy? Who will endure you forever when when you need this person to be happy? Your partner must be the person you should share your happiness with.
If you have reached the first step and figured out you are worthy to be loved and you deserve the best, would you like a partner that depends on you so much he or she will need you to complete his or her self esteem?
Most likely not. Be honest: you really would not like yourself as a partner when you do not love yourself and you are unhappy, using the other person to fill a wrong need for love.
Step 3: Find love outside a relationship
So you have confirmed yourself you are open to love and happiness. Now, you are single. Are you going to give this up just for being single?
Will you let another bad partner spoil your happiness again? If you look back on your romantic past, will you date a person that hurt you again?
Think of things that you like to do, that make you happy. You might have to let go some people in your life. Skip those that make you feel bad, even if it is just for the moment.
Look for new horizons and re-polish old ambitions. I'll use my own example here: being the unpopular fat girl, that often got rejected, I finally found a guy that loved me. I spent 10 years of my life with him, believing that I did not deserve any better when he hit me. To be honest: I did not love myself and I was so dishonest with myself, not admitting I was totally unhappy in that relationship. After my divorce I got back to the time of pain, rejection, heartaches being dumped.
At the end I decided to give up on men and decided to love myself first instead of making somebody else more important in my life. I got back to my old passion of writing again and started to become a happy single.
And when you start with a hobby or ambition that makes you happy, you will surely find more people with the same interests around you.
Step 4: Stay busy
When the law of attraction starts working, keep it going. You will suddenly find lots of interesting people around you, when you start to be happy with a new occupation.
In this stage, you will meet new friends and stop looking for a relationship. You will see that people will come to you, when you share your happiness with them. If you can only be the friend that wines about heartaches and bad feelings, you are less attractive.
Step 5: The special friend
Now you will find out that true love needs time to mature. Forget love at first sight that might blind you. When you see an attractive person, of course you feel flattered, but in this stage, you will see that true love has nothing to do with physical attraction. This love at first sight is only in rare cases the key to true love.
But growing closer to one of your friends might be the key. Most likely there is a friend you might feel closer with, but this will not be this love at first sight feeling.
It will feel different and when this person also loves and supports you in sharing the happiness, you might have actually found what you were not looking for anymore.
Even if you do not find this special friend at once, or maybe not in your lifetime, you will always win, when you are happy. A relationship should always be the result of happiness and not the effort to become it.