How to make a long-distance relationship work out.
Long-distance relationships. It seems the general rule of thumb is that they don’t work. Whether it’s because of the distance doesn’t allow room for intimacy. Or jealousy overrides trust. Or maybe there’s no chance of shortening the distance anytime soon.
Yet, it is a nice surprise when they do work out. Like the relationship with my fiancée. She’s American, and living in South Georgia. I’m English, and living in South-East London – for the moment. I met her on my travels through Georgia some time ago. Now, say what you want about the Internet and Facebook. But if it weren’t for these, we wouldn’t have kept in contact. Thus, as a result, decided to have a crack at the long-distance thing.
Since choosing to go down this funky road, we’ve gone from strength to strength. Sure, things like flights and the months of waiting in between, traditional dating is out the window. After months of going back and forth, we faced a choice. Either we let this go for someone else closer, or stick with it and make it work. We decided to stick with it and close the distance.
The distance and the waiting until I eventually move out there can be intolerable at times. Therefore, there are ways to fuel the relationship in the meantime.
If you were to find yourself in a relationship, the following tips may help you deal with the distance:
o A given in any relationship, the long-distance creates more dependency on it. Unless you both have webcams, the two of you may have to chat without the aid of body language. Work this to your advantage, by being clear and concise with each other. Building up trust and an emotional bond will work wonders in the long-term.
• Peak Each Other’s Interest
o This can be taken in many ways. Providing you have trust already in place, the lack of intimacy needs to be compensated somewhere. Even if only to remind each other why you’re with each other in the first place. That the months of waiting will be worth it. Whether you’re stuck on the phone, the webcam or any other camera. There are many ways to keep each other’s interest. Don’t be shy to utilise them as such.
• Have Faith
o So, you have the trust, and the ways of keeping up the interest. Yet, there shall be moments when the distance gets to you. It may make you feel that the relationship won’t get past the cycle of visiting every so often. Don’t be perturbed by it. Providing you’re both as committed to it, you’ll find a way around it all.
• Spicing Things Up
o Like communication, this is a given in relationships. But, they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. And that’s none more true than when you’re with someone you care about. Distance makes the notion of “spicing things up” way more interesting. Not having the immediate reaction as when you’re both physically together. Thus, the distance creates the situation to think of new, novel ways of keeping things interesting.
• Indulge In The Little Things That Remind You Of Each Other
o Whether it’s a song, or a quote, or a video of something that relates to your love. Whatever. Love letters may not be prevalent that much these days. But, sending a little trivial thing, because “it reminds me of you” can boost your love’s mood, thus strengthening the relationship.
• Don’t Be Afraid To Talk To Others
o The distance between you and your love may get to you. So, there’s no shame in having one other person you can open up about this. I, personally, am lucky in that I have a friend who’s also in a long-distance relationship. Amongst other things, we chat about how we deal with the distance between us and our respective loves.
• Be Safe In Knowing The Distance Can Shortened
o After all, if you and your love truly care about each other, you’ll shorten the gap in due course. And the waiting will be worth it when it is finally over.
In essence, long-distance relationships can work out. It just needs both people to commit to it, and have enough trust and faith in it working out. It may seem miraculous. But given how technology is making the world smaller, long-distance relationships are becoming more realistic by the year.