Saying "I Love You" Without Saying "I Love You"
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Saying "I Love You" Without Saying "I Love You"

The three most important words that everyone in a relationship loves to hear more than anything else in the world is "I love you"  and if said  with sincerity and the right tone, these three words can melt anyone's heart, even the coldest of frozen hearts. However, what if you are not ready to release these three words from your lips and you are not ready to face the 0.000099 percent chance of rejection and only to hear those dreaded words "Thank you". What if you are not ready to reveal to the one you adore and think about constantly when that favorite song comes on the airwaves or  when you smell the lingerings of their scent nearby while you are cruising through random places ?What if your love interest will not be able to comply and return with the second most cherished phrases " I love you too!"?

We've all been there. Uttering these three sacred words can make or break a relationship if the timing is not right. How many times have you heard the crushing stories of when some one says "I love you"  too early and all they got back was the word "Thank you". What is that suppose to mean? "Thank you for saying the three most important words in this relationship and putting your heart on a platter for me today but I don't love you back?". (Ouch! and now try to get back to whatever you were doing, with your tail between your legs, before you met that person all the whole time recalculating your mistaken move as if it was the worst chess game you ever lost.)

It happened to me and I'm 99.9 percent sure it has happened to you- it is very embarrassing and you never want to see that person again because you just found out or they just revealed "we are not moving to that same happy place". What I've realized is  and what it means, it is too early to say such words and that person is not ready for ... (fill-in-the-blank here with your own reason). As for as love is concern, it's so embarassing to hear the words "Thank you" after you have gone on a limb and  put your heart on a silver platter to delcare your undying love for that special someone in your life. Therefore, the best policy in any situation when it comes to saying "I love you" is to not say it at all. The best policy is to take action.

Action loves receiving reactions and there won't be any embarrassment, only that you truly took the time to know someone. Here's a few ideas how to show someone you love without actually having to say "I love you" and at the same time will be a good litmus test for your relationship. Test these ideas out and make any comments please, good or bad.

1. Find out what your special someone's most favorite music or artist is and have that song  playing in your car the next time you pick them up, (very effective here if you are the "guy" in the relationship whether it is guy-girl, girl-girl, guy-guy, or bi-). Select the song with the message you want them to hear. Playing a song will harness the power of the media and creative energy that you you had bottled up inside and let the artist convery your message without putting you out on a limb or spend any money. See what your partner's reaction is. See if they appreciate, that even though you "love Alternative Rock", you went out of your way to download their favorite artist and is actually listening to the words. There's alot of free music out there; my favorite is audio streaming or video streaming. Tune to for a sample download of different world music.  There's also, YouTube,  and if you like a little element of danger, the forbidden sites allowing file sharing, Napster.

If you want to take it to the next level and can spend some dough, surprise them with tickets to the concert. Gaurunteed to get you closer to any girl or guy who loves music. That's about 99.9 percent of the population and the other 0.1 percent of the population probably don't have a pulse; so don't waste your time their Einstein . (Try Brownbag and what I've found is, that it's better and friendlier than ticketmaster.

2. A simple love letter. That's right, the old "love letter". It's a dying art and hardly anyone does it anymore so you will definitely make an impact here. There's text and flirts you can click on fb, Hi5, or where ever you like to spend your free time websurfing at to catch the attention of that special someone but nothing says "I love you" like a well thought out letter.  This is most effective, again if you are the "guy" in the relationship. Most girls know how to say and show "I love you"  already so females are exempt from trying this one to avoid being too sensitive but this works well pretty much for any type of relationship, guy-girl, girl-girl, guy-guy, bi, you name it.

3. Okay, not much a poet and you don't have money to spend on expensive long-stem roses or that special toy they want? How about a movie the person of your interests loves the most. It's the same idea as a song, but with movies available at Redbox, it will cost you only $1 to rent their favorite movie to watch and a chance to snuggle with that special someone watching again, emphasis here, their favorite "happy" movie.

4. Be kind and be generous with words of praises, written or spoken; anyone will appreciate it when you say it with a smile. "You are so beautiful". "You are an inspiration to me." "You and Me, and No one Else". "You and Me, Forever and Eternity".

5. Volunteer at your partner's charity cause and ask them if they want to turn it into a "Volunteer" date night. This will really show that you care about your parnter and reconfirms their mission to help make this world a better place.

6. Talk to your partner's parents or  close friends and see if you can borrow some "cute" pictures and take them to Costco., Walgreens, Kit's Camera, some place where you can copy these pictures. Spend some time to crop, add a phrase, something funny and cute, praising the person. Now place these pictures in a e-file or photo album. Your partner will be happy you took the time to talk to the important people in their life to try a challenge like this. The guys at Kit's camera or Walgreens are very helpful. If you want evertything done on the web go to or There's lots of ways to make a tons of creative simple gifts from T-shirts to photo mug featuring your love interest.

7. Make dinner and if you don't know how to cook, get a friend to teach you how to make your partner's favorite dish or dessert. No friends who can cook nearby? Check out millions of easy recipes online. Frusterated following easy recipes, how about a video?

8. Play a song for your partner, on whatever instruement you like or can play on.

9. Get stationary made with your partner's initials imprinted on it.

10. Publish a set of poems your partner loves and have the book sent to their home! When they open the mail- it will look like a random package but when they read it, they will see your special note.

Thanks for reading and pass on any random acts of kindness while you are out and about trying these ideas out.

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Comments (6)

This was a great article!

Nice Post! It is true that actions can convey a lot. Red Roses can convey the message too without saying it.

Anonymous T

I totally just experienced the "I love you".. "thank you" thing 2 days ago. I didn't know what to say after he pretty much crushed my heart. Although, it wasn't so much that I didn't want to see him again, it was just kind of like.. oh, he just needs time. The weird thing is that he totally does most of the actions described above, but seems uncomfortable with the word love. I just don't understand guys.


Some cute ideas..Another thing I really loved when my boyfriend suggested it was he knew of something I had never really done{driving range}..We loaded up in the car to go on a date where we'd went on our 1st date & it was closed so he knew I was disappointed b/c we don't go on dates often & I'd look forward to he just suggested taking me to the driving range & I could try something new..We had a load of fun..It was good thinking on his part..& a cheap idea too!Another thing is my boyfriend & I have been together for about a year & 1/2 but don't live together & on a rare occasion he'll come over to my house& start doing something that I'm rushing to get done or fix something for me{like my water lines}..I really appreciate it & it shows me he cares.

i think men are so afraid to say these words at first. a lot of couples didnt start with the 'i love you' telling phase and the words were blurted out after being with each other for long or after getting married. my idea is perhaps this is because of fear of rejection.

Kawser alam

Thank u.i don't have any word to say.thank u.